Effective communication involves facts, feelings and thoughts
This is a discussion of effective communication basics. Most people do not know that feelings don’t produce thoughts. It’s actually the thoughts that produce the feelings. If our thoughts are distorted or inaccurate, then our feelings are not a good basis to make decisions. So in educating people about effective communication, we start with the “facts” of a situation, the feelings and the thought that produced the feelings. thought, use of “the gate”, Analogy to pain nerve endings and what to do.
Mr. Bear and Mr. Frog
This is the name of the children’s book that starts to describe why communication is important and what is necessary for the basic elements. It describes the various aspects of the “GATE” format, which Michele created, to help learn these elements. Also included are assertive basics, how to “hear” and properly respond and how to negotiate and brainstorm.
Nerve endings and feelings are perfect analogies
In the radio show, Michele shows how nerve endings are basic in protecting our body. When people have nerve damage, their ability to rely on this is thwarted. The same holds true for feelings. We have been given and are born with a natural protection called feelings. these are are only barometers for emotional self protection. When we are not told what to do with these feelings, then, most people will turn to something outside of themselves (if the feelings are uncomfortable). This accounts for the numbing effect of drugs, alcohol pills, eating disorders, shopping, gambling, work addictions, sex and love addictions and internet addictions. All the substance and process addictions are substitutes for “medicating” but end up with disastrous results over the long run.
Education is the key
If you learned something that isn’t working for you, then you can learn something that will work for you. You can learn the new way of dealing with the feelings and thoughts. You need to be given whole new set of healthy and functional tools to use. This is part of what therapy and professional help is attempting to do. To assess with someone else’s help whether the thoughts might be distorted, and then reframe those thoughts. Change the thoughts and change the feelings. If this is learned effectively, then the illnesses that would follow by numbing, will not occur. Illnesses such as clinical depression can be interrupted because years of “being in Pain” can now be stopped.
Clarification and Negotiation during Brainstorming
this helps with difficult situations and provides a great alternative and outcome. the usual situation where there is conflict means there is plenty of blame and shame to go around. This will not solve a problem.